Even though I have walked with God since my early teens, I still have my days where my world is caving in and I need His cradling arms to comfort me. My earthly father raised me to be modest, and in my teenage years, he pounded into my mind that I was beautiful the way God made me. I admit, that in both high school and college, I felt I needed to wear certain things that showed off my body, in order for others to look at me to feel beautiful. During my senior prom, I still remember the dress I wore that got so much attention from others. Let’s just say, it was the farthest thing from modest that I have ever wore.

Now, I don’t even recognize that girl. I met my husband during my freshmen year of college, and that was the first time a man, other than my father, wanted a woman who clothed herself in modesty and dignity, instead of revealing clothes and a wildly attractive appearance. I cannot say that this was easy to swallow when we first met. After all, everything about the culture around me says beauty is when a woman shows off her body, wears the tightest, curve-revealing clothes, and flaunts herself proudly wherever she is. Now more than ever, has the battle of beauty taken over our society and chipped away real beauty from girls younger and younger. That is just the world we live in.

Perhaps men will never understand this kind of pressure, but boy, how much my dad’s words still mean to me. True words like that are health to the soul, especially on days when every ounce of you feels disgusting to be around. I only pray that women would see how their choice of clothing, appearance, or whichever, makes other women feel around them. My heart is for that woman who only feels beautiful when her body is shown, because I was that girl, and how unfulfilling was that life. It gets tiring trying to keep up with beauty trends. And more than that, it gets tiring worrying about what others think of you.

Since being that little girl who struggled with an eating disorder to lose weight, whose depression would cause hair loss to the point that other girls would comment at school, and whose broken spirit led her to wear clothes that she thought guys would love, I still know the pain of not feeling beautiful very much. The bible says in Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” But that doesn’t seem to be what society holds onto. Women don’t really get praised for fearing God enough to make modest clothing decisions. The words in 1 Peter 3:3-4 say, “It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from within you — the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that will never be destroyed and is very precious to God.” As women, the culture we are bred in makes it hard to believe these words, but they are God’s words, so that makes them true.

It has taken a lot of humility to let go of the racing loud voice of society. But what I can tell you is, taking in God’s words has brought so much healing to my pain. It has stabilized my thoughts, and on my worst days, they save me. Still, as much as we cling to the Lord, the pressures of beauty will always be there on this side of heaven. I hope you, dear friend, never experience a moment like I did, where one woman’s beautiful body caused me to hate my own. It was a dark day when I found myself weeping at my dining room table, eating breakfast. The memory of her body and its ugly effect on me pointed me to yet again, try to believe that I was made beautiful in God’s eyes. My ugly-crying face murmured to God, “I dress modest, I try to have a quiet and gentle spirit, I fear You, but I still feel nothing like beautiful today.” Sometimes, it feels like others don’t recognize the beauty of the Lord that is in you. It never nearly gets as much recognition as a woman who is more beautiful on the outside than I ever could be. Still, He meets us in our messes and pain, and His loving comfort reminds us that He sees beauty far below the surface. He sees it in your heart.

On a brighter note, dear friend, you are beautiful, and there is no amount of clothing, plastic surgery, or procedure that could ever make you more beautiful than you are now. I say now, because I think we all have given into the pressures of beauty trends, whether it is that new wardrobe, those new eyelash extensions, or micro-bladed eyebrows. God still sees you just as beautiful with or without those things because you are. God does not make mistakes. No plastic surgeon, nail or hair salon, or gym could do a better job at making you more beautiful than the work of His hands that He has done by making you.

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:10